Divorce drags a lot of agony in its wake. And grief is an inescapable part of it. But the work to overcome grief after a bitter divorce can create another level of agony altogether.
Emotions like anger, guilt, shame, embarrassment, disappointment, and fear are among the normal line-up after a divorce.
Bitterness, however, is ugly. It oozes out of anger, resentment, and indignation over the perception of being treated unfairly. It goes beyond anger to nastiness and malevolence toward the other person. It can even carry undertones of hatred.
Think about someone you have known who was so full of negative energy that s/he couldn’t focus on anything good. Perhaps that person had such deep, uncontrollable anger that s/he said and did “crazy” things.
Perhaps you even tried to reason with or help the person, but came to realize that there was no getting past the bitterness.
A person that “pissed off” can’t move on, and remains a prisoner to the past.
If you’re trying to overcome grief after a bitter divorce, you will have to do a lot of work to defuse the rancor.
You won’t be able to control what your ex says or does. But you can decide for yourself that your survival depends on moving through the stages of grief. The alternative, staying stuck in any stage can lead to emotions and behaviors with lifetime consequences – and neither of us wants that for you…
Speak Your Mind
You must be logged in to post a comment.