Yes, Grief is an Expression of Love

Dear Annie: I lost my wife of 32 years, and two months after, I lost my son. I will never be the same. How can I get through this? — Grieving

Dear Grieving: I am so sorry that you lost your wife. I am so sorry that you lost your son. Each loss is devastating on its own; that you should suffer them both in just two months seems unspeakably cruel. There are no words to lessen the pain, but the following is my attempt to help you endure it. Please take whatever is useful and leave the rest.

Reach out for support. Find therapists in your area who specialize in grief at Look into grief support groups in your community. If you are religious, see if your place of worship hosts a grief support group or can refer you to one. If you don’t like one therapist or support group, try another.

Take “breaks.” The weight of grief is so crushing; it’s important for your mental and physical health to seek out moments of respite, however brief. So if there is something that brings you the slightest bit of joy or lightness (that is not self-destructive), gravitate toward that: It could be something as simple as watching a funny TV show or movie. The goal isn’t to suppress your sadness; it’s to give yourself a tiny bit of rest from the all-consuming work of grief…

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