How to Deal With Divorce Grief

9 Tips For Dealing with Divorce

Without a doubt, getting divorced can trigger grief and does for most people. It’s 100% normal to feel a lot of pain about the end of your marriage and all the other losses to go along with getting divorced.

Yet feeling miserable isn’t where you want to stay. You want to move on with your life and you know that there are stages to grief. Yet you just can’t seem to stop crying or sighing or feeling lost in the overwhelming sadness.

Dealing with grief is complicated – especially when you’re grieving divorce because there aren’t social norms for you (or your family and friends) to follow to help you get through your divorce grief.

So if you’re ready to begin dealing with your grief so you can move on with your life, you’re going to have to take matters into your own hands. Now it’s not quite as difficult as it sounds if you just follow these 9 tips:

2. Lean on your friends and family for support.

Your friends and family love you and want to support you through this major life transition you’re facing, but they don’t really know how. You’re going to have to get specific with them about what you need – to talk, to receive a hug, to cook a meal for you and your kids. Ask for what you need and you’ll be surprised at how much love you’ll receive. However, your friends and family can’t be your only support system.

3. Join a divorce support group.

The people who are in these groups know EXACTLY what dealing with grief about divorce is like because they’re on the same journey. Interacting with others who get what you’re going through can be incredibly comforting because you’ll quickly realize you’re not quite as alone as you …

Grief Help: 6 Strategies To Help You Overcome Grief After A Bitter Divorce

Divorce drags a lot of agony in its wake. And grief is an inescapable part of it. But the work to overcome grief after a bitter divorce can create another level of agony altogether.

Emotions like anger, guilt, shame, embarrassment, disappointment, and fear are among the normal line-up after a divorce.

Bitterness, however, is ugly. It oozes out of anger, resentment, and indignation over the perception of being treated unfairly. It goes beyond anger to nastiness and malevolence toward the other person. It can even carry undertones of hatred.

Think about someone you have known who was so full of negative energy that s/he couldn’t focus on anything good. Perhaps that person had such deep, uncontrollable anger that s/he said and did “crazy” things.

Perhaps you even tried to reason with or help the person, but came to realize that there was no getting past the bitterness.

A person that “pissed off” can’t move on, and remains a prisoner to the past.

If you’re trying to overcome grief after a bitter divorce, you will have to do a lot of work to defuse the rancor.

You won’t be able to control what your ex says or does. But you can decide for yourself that your survival depends on moving through the stages of grief. The alternative, staying stuck in any stage can lead to emotions and behaviors with lifetime consequences – and neither of us wants that for you…

Grief and Divorce: 10 commandments to Survive the End of a Marriage

Lately I’ve been meeting a lot of women who are on the verge of leaving their marriages, have left their marriages or have been left behind, or are in the throes of an annulment or legal separation. It’s an arduous journey, not one for the faint of heart. It’s familiar terrain to me, having walked that… [Read more…]