What To Say and Not To Say To Someone Who’s Grieving

Do be present

You don’t necessarily need to have the right words, but showing up with a willingness to talk about the person who died is crucial. Abdullah says that instead of trying to make someone feel better, really being there and allowing them to feel pain is more effective. “Letting them know that whatever they’re feeling is okay and it makes sense, because as people metabolize grief, they go through many different experiences. [That’s] any reaction, or any expression of any emotion—or a lack of expression or emotion, because some people may not express grief outwardly or in the conventional way we think of grief as sadness. So holding space and reminding them that what they’re feeling is okay.”

The Road to Recovery – A Grief Support Guide in e-book form

Do use the name of the person who died

“I think people get the sense that we don’t want to talk about the person that died but actually, when you’re grieving, you want to know that the person is not forgotten,” Abdullah says. Sharing stories and memories of the person who died, or things you loved about them or things that reminded you of them can be helpful. While Warnick acknowledges there are, of course, exceptions and nothing she says will be true for 100 percent of people across the board, she does find that the vast majority of people do not want the person who died to be forgotten and welcome the opportunity to be able to talk about them—though they might not want to have to take the lead.

“When my dad died, one of my colleagues said to me, ‘Andrea, I never met your dad,..

How to Talk to Your Children about Death and Grief

With the surge of the Corona virus, many families are losing their loved ones at an alarming rate. Death is a sad reality and while we as adults struggle with the concept of death, it can be even worse for children. That is why as parents we tend to shield them from the truth, thinking they do not have an idea of what is happening around us. But children are aware and they can sense our emotions.

When single mom Nonzwakazi Cekete lost her partner four years ago to a bike accident, she was confused how she was gone to break the news to her then six and seven-year-old. Besides struggling with the grief, herself, she was having a tough time whether to tell the truth or just say he had gone somewhere far and would come back. “I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them the truth but I could tell from their stares that they wanted the truth. The people …

Speaking Grief Documentary Available Nationwide for free beginning Aug. 30

UNIVERSITY PARK, Pa. — At some point in life, we all grieve. The loss of loved ones, relationships, pets, jobs —things big and small. But often, we don’t understand that what we’re feeling is grief or don’t know what to do for a friend or family member who might be going through a difficult time.

That’s why a WPSU Penn State documentary about the reality of grief is so important for people, according to WPSU senior producer Lindsey Whissel Fenton, who produced, directed and wrote the film.

“We’re all grieving something right now, and these collective griefs show we all have a stake in this work,” she said. “This documentary introduces concepts that, hopefully, will help us make sense of our own grief and respond to the experiences of others with compassion and authenticity.”

“Speaking Grief” will be available nationwide for free, on-demand viewing beginning Sunday, Aug. 30, through WPSU’s YouTube pagethe Speaking Grief website and PBS Video app, which is available on mobile devices and streaming platforms such as Chromecast, Amazon Fire, Roku, Amazon Fire TV, Android TV, Samsung TV and Apple TV.

“Speaking Grief” explores the reality of grief and offers guidance on how people can do a better job supporting those who are grieving. The documentary features candid interviews with families across the country — from California, New York, Pennsylvania and Texas — whose losses include stillbirth and suicide….

Living with Grief – A Coach’s Perspective

How to handle adversity when nothing goes your way. How to lift others up when it feels like the world is tearing you down. How to stay devoted to your passion when it’s a constant reminder of who or what you’ve lost. And how to be vulnerable when everyone expects you to be guarded.

Anderson experienced grief unlike any he’d faced before.

“It was a year full of tears,” said Anderson’s mom, Donna. “And prayer was our only hope.”

He coped with the loss of two of his best friends in his wife and father, leaning on family, friends, players and coaches as he navigated crippling heartache.

And through it all, Anderson stayed true to himself and his beliefs. He’s a man of deep-rooted Christian faith, and he’s not afraid to share that. That faith never wavered.

It intensified…

Suicide Risk Rises Sharply. 6 Steps to Help Prevent Suicide

The Covid-19 pandemic has put mental health for so many people at great risk.  Here are a few quick steps to get yourself on firmer footing.

  1. Get off social media.  The correlation between depression and anxiety and heavy social media usage is well documented.
  2. Explore nature.  Get out and enjoy God’s good earth.
  3. Walk every day.   Just a 30 minute walk goes a long way towards good health, physically and mentally.
  4. Socialize.  Make real social connections… in person.
  5. Read every day.  If you’re a Christian, start your morning each day by reading’s God’s Word.
  6. Start a Gratitude Journal.  If you’re reading this, you’re likely better off than 99% of the world’s population.  You have many blessings.  It helps to write them down and review them each morning or at bed time.

“A startling report released Thursday by the CDC found that 10.7% of Americans reported seriously contemplating suicide in the 30 days before the survey, issued over the last week of June, was conducted.

Grief Help logoThat’s in contrast to the 4.3% who reported the same thing over the course of 2018. The percentages were far higher in certain populations, including ethnic and racial minorities, and essential workers.

The report, which surveyed 5,412 Americans, also found that about a quarter had symptoms of anxiety and about the same percentage had symptoms of depression.”

Read the rest about the rising suicide risk due to Covid-19 pandemic decisions.

A widow’s memories bring grief, comfort

I often think of our last day together. We walked our dog, Lui, a Jack Russell terrier who would run in mad circles around the football field behind the Town Office building. This day, though, Lui stayed leashed and we moved slowly. Abe was in home hospice care, his heart functioning at 10%.

But he was upbeat.

“I feel stronger today,” he said. “I think I can walk a bit farther each day.”

More from a widow’s memories:

Is that grief or depression you’re experiencing due to COVID-19?

Ronald M. Podell, M.D. Ronald M. Podell, M.D., is a board-certified psychiatrist with degrees from Amherst College and Columbia University. He is the founder and director of the Center for Bio-Behavioral Science in Los Angeles…

Could you add more to what you just shared about grieving to help people try to figure out whether they may be depressed or grieving right now?

Grieving is a natural reaction to loss and is often unpleasant. Family and friends may be intolerant of the bad feelings coming from a distressed person. I try to help people work through grief or anxiety and despair without drugs whenever possible. However, if I believe the grieving process is becoming pathological and it isn’t healing, I’ll prescribe medications that address the abnormal brain chemistry that occurs in mood and anxiety disorders.

I must then carefully observe the patient and employ psychological methods that help treat the mood or anxiety disorder. A professional is needed to discern between normal grief, sadness, stress reactions and a major depressive episode. There are specialists within psychiatry who are adept at using medications and are called psychopharmacologists.

More about grief or depression:

Honor memory, Move forward after death of loved one

“The challenge for you now,” he wrote, “having lost your loved one, is to live a life that is honoring to his memory, while at the same time that life moves forward so that only one person has died and not two.”

Sharon Randall is taking the week off. This column ran Oct. 3, 2006. What do you say to someone who has just lost the love of her life? How can you offer hope when all she sees is despair? I often hear from readers who are grieving the loss […]

More about dealing with after the death of loved one:

Have you read “The Road to Recovery” a grief support guide

Virtual care offered for families of pandemic victims

CLEVELAND — The American Red Cross of Northern Ohio has launched a Virtual Family Assistance Center to support families struggling with loss and grief during the ongoing coronavirus pandemic.

Those interested can visit redcross.org/get-help to access a support hub with special virtual programs, information, referrals and services to support families in need.

Those without internet access can call 1-833-492-0094 for help.

continued:

Expert guide to talking to kids about death during Covid-19

It’s natural for parents to want to protect children from the feelings of worry and distress we are experiencing during this pandemic, but decades of research underscores that being honest with children is the best way to mitigate feelings of anxiety and confusion during uncertain times.

Even young kids are aware of the changes in the emotional states of adults and will notice the absence of regular caregivers, including grandparents.

So how do we talk to kids about death and dying during the coronavirus crisis? These are tough talks, no doubt about it. Here are six guiding principles, with sample prompts and scripts, to keep in mind.

Continued – Talking to kids about death: