Grief Help: Couple opens grieving room in honor of stillborn daughter Jane

WINNETKA, Ill. — Bob and Berkley Wellstein were thrilled to be expecting their first child. The baby’s room was ready. They had the crib and the clothes.

And then, one day in the 32nd week of an easy pregnancy, Berkley noticed that her baby hadn’t been moving. She tried lying on her side. She had some sugar. Then she went to the hospital for an innocent-sounding “reassurance check,” only to learn that medical staff could not detect a heartbeat. The Wellsteins’ daughter, Jane, had died in utero in a rare accident in which the umbilical cord becomes wrapped tightly around the baby’s neck.

“It was just complete destruction. It was devastation,” Bob Wellstein said of the loss seven years ago.

But even as the Wellsteins left the hospital with Jane’s footprints and a snip of her bright blond hair, the Winnetka couple knew that their little girl’s story wasn’t over. They wanted to do something to honor her and to help other parents who experience similar losses, including miscarriages and newborn deaths. Within a year of Jane’s death in January 2012, they’d opened the first Jane’s Room — a comfortable, homelike space for grieving parents and family members — at Northwestern Medicine Prentice Women’s Hospital in Chicago. On Thursday, Jan. 17, the newest Chicago-area Jane’s Room was unveiled at Northwest Community Hospital in Arlington Heights.

Dealing with Grief during Christmas & the holidays

Following the loss of someone close leaves a certain trepidation of days to come … birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, will never be the same. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year’s can be some of the most difficult and challenging times.

Holidays are meant to spend time with those we love the most — sharing love, food, creating memories and laughter. So, how are we “celebrate” when those that we love the most will not be with us? It isn’t easy and for many people, it is the most difficult part of grieving and the time when we miss our loved ones even more.

How do we celebrate being together when there is an empty place at the table? Our sadness seems sadder, our loneliness is unfathomable and you just don’t feel like celebrating. How do we handle it? We face it head on. It is not really the grief we are trying to avoid, it is the pain that comes from it. Remember, grief is our internal feelings and mourning is our external expressions…

NFL Star Opens Up About His Sister’s Suicide

Solomon Thomas family

copyright Solomon Thomas family

“People ask me what my life is like now that she’s gone. On the one hand, I’m thankful for each day I get to still be alive. I’m beyond blessed. I have two beautiful parents; I went to my dream college; and now I get to play football for a living. I know how lucky I am. But I’m also struggling every day. Sometimes life just sucks and I go to a dark place. She was my best friend and my only sister, and I won’t ever get to talk with her again. I just want her back, and there’s nothing I can do about it. The days are hard. The nights are … ”

49ers defensive end Solomon Thomas opens up about his loss concerning his sister’s suicide

Bride’s Photoshoot Goes Viral

Nearly one year after the tragic death of her fiance, this grieving woman decided there was something she needed to do, no matter how difficult it would be.

The results of her bridal photo shoot quickly went viral, and now people all over the world are finding inspiration in her show of absolute strength.  Read the full story here.

Helpful Tips for Coping with Grief

 

children grief helpThere are many different types of grief. We grieve the loss of a loved one, but to an extent we grieve any loss. We may feel a sense of grief when our children leave home, or a friend moves away, when someone we love is terminally ill or dealing with an illness or condition which will leave them permanently changed. Losing the person we knew, and the future we expected, leads to a sense of loss. When a woman loses a baby, the whole family grieves for the loss of the baby, but also the loss of the life they were preparing for and dreaming of. Equally, when a woman learns she cannot have children, she might feel a sense of grief for a life she never had. You can even grieve the loss of a job. Here are some tips to help you live with your grief, and not let it consume you.

Get Help

Speak to your friends and family members about how you are feeling. Don’t feel you need to suffer alone. There are people that want to be there for you; you just need to let them. Consider speaking to a counselor or therapist. Counselors are great at building trusting relationships with their clients, which can then be used to find the best possible way to help you through your grief.

Let Yourself Be Sad

It’s ok to be sad. Whatever loss you are grieving, it’s ok. Let yourself be upset. It may take time before you feel normal again, and you might be forever changed. It’s important to accept this, and allow yourself the time you need. You may have months or perhaps years of feeling ok, and then a small reminder will upset you. That’s ok too.

Laugh

Many people, when they are experiencing grief, feel guilty if they laugh or have fun. Don’t. It’s good to laugh. It doesn’t mean you have forgotten. Let yourself find peace in happy times. It doesn’t mean you don’t care.

Love

Take solace in those you love. Let your grief be a reminder of how important love is. Allow them to help you, and just enjoy them. Take positives from an awful thing; you may find it brings you closer together.

Be Honest

It’s incredibly important, to not only be honest with others, but to be honest with yourself. Recognize your feelings, and be honest with yourself. Don’t try and feel how you think you should. There is no reason to hide way, or be ashamed of your feelings. The fact that you can feel is what makes you human, and why you will recover.

Focus on Positive Memories

Whatever you have lost, remember the good times. Try not to focus on questions like “why?” or “what if?” Instead remind yourself of the positive times. Take peace from them and let yourself smile.

Often, when people have recovered from grief, and have had a positive experience with counseling, they have a desire to give something back. Use your experience to create something positive and peruse an online degree in counseling. You may find studying an online counseling degree leads to a rewarding career helping others move on from their own grief.

Chicago Cubs’ Player Driven by Memory of Sister

 He plays with a glove embroidered with her name. Because every catch Chicago Cubs infielder Javier Baez makes, every hit and home run, is for his sister, Noely, who was 21 when she died in April from complications related to spina bifida. “Her dream was for Javy to make it to the pros,” says their older… [Read more…]

HealthCare Chaplaincy Network Joins Sharecare

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New Content Collaborator to Educate Consumers on Spiritual Care, Palliative Care, End of Life

NEW YORK, Sept. 16, 2015 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ — Sharecare, a comprehensive health and wellness engagement platform, and HealthCare Chaplaincy Network (HCCN), a global leader in spiritual-related education, research and clinical care, today announced that HCCN has joined Sharecare’s vibrant community of experts as a content collaborator. Through Sharecare’s interactive platform, HCCN will provide easily-accessible and consumer-friendly information… [Read more…]