How to Be There for a Friend Who Has Miscarried

April 22, 2021 by Leave a Comment

Just like becoming a widow or countless other heartaches, having a miscarriage grants you instant admission into a secret club. It is a club, of course, that no one wants to join, and it’s one with a lifetime membership. It’s a club I found myself in unwillingly after finding out about Alex.

I found out about Alex one hot July evening, but something was different about this pregnancy. I knew it but I didn’t know what it was. I was so excited to have conceived without medical intervention. She was wanted and so loved. But then when we went in for a routine ultrasound, she was no more. They couldn’t find a heartbeat.

But here’s the surprising part, miscarriage is extremely common. 15 to 20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage. So for a short time, she connected with that child, and dreamed of a future. But instead of being able to watch this child toddle outside of her body, the child is no more.

This means one in four babies that took up residence in their mother’s womb never got to be known or held. Women may go through feelings of anger and depression in the grief process before finally being able to accept what happened.

And What Not to Say…

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Grief Help: Authors Start Book Series On Infertility

February 3, 2019 by Leave a Comment

Despite all the medical approaches to infertility, two Chandler women think those who struggle with the problem might want to consider divine intervention.

That’s why Evangeline Colbert and Angela Williams wrote “Borrowed Hope: Sarah’s Story of Triumph Over Infertility” – the first in a series of books aimed at bringing comfort to women who have struggled with infertility and miscarriages by examining the struggles with infertility that are recounted in the Bible.

Colbert, a certified professional life coach, already wrote an earlier book on the subject, titled “A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility,” and began working with Williams, a counselor and mediator, two years ago on the joint creation.

Now they’re working on publicizing that first joint effort, starting with a book-signing party at 2 p.m. Jan. 26 at Sunrise Faith Community Center, at 800 W. Galveston St., Chandler.

Both women think their own lives back up their encouragement and words of hope to women who struggle with infertility and miscarriages…

Source: Santan Sun News Staff

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Grief Help: When a baby dies, Faith and Medicine aim for Compassion

January 23, 2019 by Leave a Comment

Grieving a miscarriage or stillbirth can be heart-wrenching. As awareness of that difficulty grows, medical professionals and clergy strive to offer meaningful ways to help parents mourn.

Frequently periods of mourning after a stillbirth or miscarriage are quiet, and perhaps too quick. Now, new medical devices allow parents of stillborn babies to spend more time with a stillborn baby’s earthly remains, possibly giving new ways to aid grieving families.

“To God, no life is lost, no life is insignificant,” Fr. Christopher Zelonis, a priest of the Diocese of Allentown in Virginia, told CNA. “Parents who have suffered miscarriages are parents and have every right and, we would say, need, to regard themselves as such.”

“The community around them, in doing the same, would create greater reverence and respect for the life that those parents have carried. Certainly, no parent wants to bury a child or wants to grieve that loss,” said Zelonis.

The priest spoke about the significance of stillbirths and miscarriages in the life of parents, community, and the Church. He has been a priest for 15 years and a part-time hospital chaplain for the last four years, in addition to his current duties as a parish pastor.

Newly developed cooling cots, also called cold cots, aim to help parents of stillborns. The New York Times profiled an eight-pound device called the CuddleCot, a describing it as a “kind of refrigerated baby bed that helps preserve the body of a deceased newborn for days.”

“The device gives parents a chance to bond with their babies — to love and hold them, take pictures, even take them home and take them for walks, creating memories to last a lifetime,” the New York Times personal health columnist Jane E. Brody wrote Jan. 14.

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8 Ways to support a woman after she’s had a miscarriage

January 9, 2019 by Leave a Comment

Acknowledge they are parents

Even if the miscarried child was their only pregnancy, that couple is still a mother and a father. Schwob says it’s important to “Validate the child as a precious life and acknowledge the mothers and fathers.”

Many mothers who miscarry feel like a failure. They feel guilt, thinking they could have avoided it somehow if only they’d been more aware of what was happening or taken care of their bodies in a different way. Schwob says, “Pregnant women immediately start planning and their nature is to protect that child. It’s a common thought that they have failed to do their job.” The feeling of guilt is common but it doesn’t make it true. Fathers have a hard time, too, because they cannot “fix” the problem. Help families grapple with guilt and understand that they aren’t failures.

Simply because the baby had a shorter life doesn’t mean mom and dad didn’t love their little one with all their heart. The grief process isn’t shorter and there should be no expectations for the couple to get over it, move on, and forget about the miscarriage. We can help by encouraging them to …

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Bereavement Book Helps Expectant Mothers Deal with Grief, Love, and Loss

February 11, 2016 by Leave a Comment
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“Empty Arms: Hope and Support for Those Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Tubal Pregnancy” Helps Women Cope with Infant Death

PORTLAND, Ore., Feb. 11, 2016 /PRNewswire/ — Expectant mothers who are grieving over the death of their baby now have a book to help guide them through the bereavement process, ” Empty Arms: Hope… [Read more…]

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